Amazing how I can go from complete mental homeostasis to shock within such a short period of time. I have never been that close to anyone who died. My first pet ever is curled up by my leg, my Grandpa Bill passed before I knew who he was, and it was just a downward spiral for my grandma last summer. Only a few minutes ago I saw a facebook status that made my stomach drop. An old friend of mine; Anahita, had muscle cancer...which I learned about through sources. She died today. She went to Elementary with me, as well as Middle School...and my High School as well. Last I had spoken to her was sometime during Freshman year. She used to live down my street on a court just off the entrace of the long road...but I don't know if her family resides there now.
This is the first time I've had to deal with the death of someone that's of my age. She was part of my group of friends for most of my life...and I never got a chance to speak one word to her since her illness.
I feel at a loss of words, and a little mad at the Universe for taking her. If there is a God, why would they take her so early? I don't understand it. I don't know how to deal with this. I go back and forth from feeling nothing, to tear-blurred vision, to confusion, to...nothing again. Do I have reason to cry? Should I feel sad? Should I feel honored to have known her? I really don't know...
For now I will just sit...and pay my respects. And no one called her by her full name - we called her Ana.
RIP Ana...your strong spirit and amazing outlook on life will live on through all who you have touched. it was an honor to know you since we were short and naïve to all the world's troubles.
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