Deff of a bad night

Kicked out of dorm because roomie wants time with a boy.
Kicked out of friend's dorm, because they want to go to a full-out party - and I'm not into that.
Dealing with two people that obviously out of the room, when finally getting back into the home dorm.
Hiding in the HALLWAY of the LOBBY of the dorm, so they can have time together.
Sitting alone with no one to talk to in a dorm room, while everyone is out having fun.
Feeling like a loser and not worthy to be a college student.
Crying for the first time at college nine days after I got there.
Coming to the realization that adulthood starts in a week - and not feeling ready for it.
Trying to watch True Blood for the first time since going to college - and Mega Video informs me that I have watched 72 minutes today - even though I haven't fucking watched anything online in about ten days.
Turning on a lava lamp for company.
Feeling really, really homesick for the first time.
Feeling really, really alone.
Feeling mildly hysterical and sitting in your dorm room with a teddy bear, feeling even worse for attempting to comfort myself with a teddy bear.
Wondering why Pandora keeps playing songs about being alone, broken up with, and sad.
Fuck you, Pandora.

Not wanting roomie to walk in to see crying, so quickly wiping off tears with a rough napkin and hiding teddy bear under covers, sitting back at desk like I'm just being a nerd.
...just to turn out it's more people having fun..

Not sure what to do to make life better.

I'm fairly certain I could make a movie about my life, and people wouldn't believe it.


Welcome to the night of August 27, 2009.

Welcome to my worst night in college yet.