Well...happy birthday to me.

Countdown to birthday.
10:30pm.
Pandora [online radio that molds to me] is so far on a roll. I love it. Something in the air is very surreal. I'm waiting for an email that will essentially change my life forever - but I'm not even sure if they're awake or even check their email.
I think I heard thunder tonight too. The air feels cold outside, on my feet.

It's 11:14 now, and I'm talking to friends online. I smell pot outside [yay college] and still no email. Pandora still isn't half bad.

Well I'm 18 now.
I feel weird.

No email.

Well - I don't get it.
I basically threw away my birthday for a stupid movie. I thought things would get easier after that decision, right? No. First I have to find out if I should go.
Yes?
Alright.
So how do I get there?

-asks friends-
Roomie: Already home
Friend's Roomie: In class
Roomie's Friend: Already home
Friend: never responded to text
Shuttle: ends 15 minutes before
Email: Making me wait - no response so far
Phone: have to call a stranger for a ride

Does the Universe just not want me to do this and go home? I don't get it.

I guess I always try to interpret messages I get from symbols and things in my life. Maybe I should stop. I constantly look for "a sign". Maybe that's just biting me in the ass.

I don't know.

My birthday:
Wake up late.
Take shower.
Go to math.
Come back.
Call stranger for ride.
Eat dinner [?]
Go to strange meeting with strange people.
Come back to empty dorm room.

Awesome 18th birthday, huh?
I could be home by dinner. But no - I chose to stupid route that I thought was the smart and strong one. I don't get it. I really don't.

I might be 18 now...but to be honest I don't give a shit. It's not like I'm going to do anything of the stuff I earned. Not like I can prove I'm 18 - I don't have any formal ID but my Otter ID - which doesn't have my birthday on it. Plus I have no desire to get a tattoo, buy a lottery ticket, or any of that stuff. Nor do I have the means to accomplish any of it. I just...I'm so frustrated.

Why do I have such terrible luck? Did some family member get cursed years ago and was like "MAY YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY LINE BE CURSED WOOO~" Like in the book/movie, Holes?

Random realization: I have no food tomorrow. I have a one-meal-per-day plan, and I feed off my cereal. I just remembered it was empty today - and my milk went bad. I have iced tea though. And an apple. Probably the apple is bad.


Well...happy birthday to me.